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Friday, December 28, 2007

books



i read them.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

foggy days

the winter season is at its full spring. For the third time, i went out early, taking in the fog. For some odd reason, this time enchants me. Unlike the diabolic summers, which are more noisy and are usually abuzz with activity, winters are more silent.The contradiction between the two seasons is much more than a simple opposite. Isn't it a kind of bliss? This season? Not because it's the season of festivity around the globe, not because one can get cozy with his/her loved one, not because of the hot coffee, but because it is so silent.One can actually hear summers .
The flies, the sweaty crowd, the almost-personal vertical beam of sunshine falling on your head mockingly.But there's something else too, it's the fact that you can actually skip summers,what with all the air conditioners and cooler drinks? the anti-tan lotions? options abound!
But these winters,they have a silent killer effect. You don't know what is making you curl more in yourself, the fog or the actual winter? It creeps in slowly, through the crevices and the cracks and the open windows and doors of your being and forces you to be with yourself.I find it intriguing, because it resembles the forgotten question of existence and life. Questions which people know exist, but simply choose to ignore , not because they are not solvable,but because it's hard following the solution.For me, winters are a victorious symphony of mockery at everyone who think that something which can't be seen can't be felt. It resembles the knowledge which people don't know.It's there and yet it's not there.And most importantly, you can't ignore it,as you do with your life, mixing religion and spirit, mixing work and your gods and making life a mess of imbecile choices,moulding everything according to your wills and fancies. I don't know if i am making sense to my readers but i am making sense to myself and that's enough for now.

God.

person A: Do you beleive in God?

person B: No. But why?

person A: Because you see, God- whatever anyone chooses to call God- is one's highest conception of the highest possible. And whoever places his highest conception above his own possibility thinks very little of himself and his life.
It's a rare gift you know, to feel reverence for your own life, and to want the best, the greatest, the highest possible, here , now, for your very own. To imagine a heaven, and then not to dream of it , but to demand it.

.....................................Ayn Rand...............................We, The Living.......................................................

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Saturday, November 17, 2007

INTJ

Took the Mayer Brigg's test again..this time did not tamper..and found out that i am an INTJ .
This was the description.
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To outsiders, INTJs may appear to project an aura of "definiteness", of self-confidence. This self-confidence, sometimes mistaken for simple arrogance by the less decisive, is actually of a very specific rather than a general nature; its source lies in the specialized knowledge systems that most INTJs start building at an early age. When it comes to their own areas of expertise -- and INTJs can have several -- they will be able to tell you almost immediately whether or not they can help you, and if so, how. INTJs know what they know, and perhaps still more importantly, they know what they don't know.
INTJs are perfectionists, with a seemingly endless capacity for improving upon anything that takes their interest. What prevents them from becoming chronically bogged down in this pursuit of perfection is the pragmatism so characteristic of the type: INTJs apply (often ruthlessly) the criterion "Does it work?" to everything from their own research efforts to the prevailing social norms. This in turn produces an unusual independence of mind, freeing the INTJ from the constraints of authority, convention, or sentiment for its own sake.
INTJs are known as the "Systems Builders" of the types, perhaps in part because they possess the unusual trait combination of imagination and reliability. Whatever system an INTJ happens to be working on is for them the equivalent of a moral cause to an INFJ; both perfectionism and disregard for authority may come into play, as INTJs can be unsparing of both themselves and the others on the project. Anyone considered to be "slacking," including superiors, will lose their respect -- and will generally be made aware of this; INTJs have also been known to take it upon themselves to implement critical decisions without consulting their supervisors or co-workers. On the other hand, they do tend to be scrupulous and even-handed about recognizing the individual contributions that have gone into a project, and have a gift for seizing opportunities which others might not even notice.
In the broadest terms, what INTJs "do" tends to be what they "know". Typical INTJ career choices are in the sciences and engineering, but they can be found wherever a combination of intellect and incisiveness are required (e.g., law, some areas of academia). INTJs can rise to management positions when they are willing to invest time in marketing their abilities as well as enhancing them, and (whether for the sake of ambition or the desire for privacy) many also find it useful to learn to simulate some degree of surface conformism in order to mask their inherent unconventionality.
Personal relationships, particularly romantic ones, can be the INTJ's Achilles heel. While they are capable of caring deeply for others (usually a select few), and are willing to spend a great deal of time and effort on a relationship, the knowledge and self-confidence that make them so successful in other areas can suddenly abandon or mislead them in interpersonal situations.
This happens in part because many INTJs do not readily grasp the social rituals; for instance, they tend to have little patience and less understanding of such things as small talk and flirtation (which most types consider half the fun of a relationship). To complicate matters, INTJs are usually extremely private people, and can often be naturally impassive as well, which makes them easy to misread and misunderstand. Perhaps the most fundamental problem, however, is that INTJs really want people to make sense. :-) This sometimes results in a peculiar naivete', paralleling that of many Fs -- only instead of expecting inexhaustible affection and empathy from a romantic relationship, the INTJ will expect inexhaustible reasonability and directness.
Probably the strongest INTJ assets in the interpersonal area are their intuitive abilities and their willingness to "work at" a relationship. Although as Ts they do not always have the kind of natural empathy that many Fs do, the Intuitive function can often act as a good substitute by synthesizing the probable meanings behind such things as tone of voice, turn of phrase, and facial expression. This ability can then be honed and directed by consistent, repeated efforts to understand and support those they care about, and those relationships which ultimately do become established with an INTJ tend to be characterized by their robustness, stability, and good communications.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Temples of the mind.

The season of festivity just went by in India. Started by the mammoth ten day celebration to the festival of lights. it was strange because people just woke up from their slumber and started to become happy, whether they felt happy is another issue. But I am not interested in people or their happiness. I am interested in something else, something they call a synonym of faith and prayer. The house of gods. The temples.
On a recent trip to Rajasthan, which houses fields and fields of gold dust scattered abundantly, I saw something which make me feel small and big, at the same time. There were temples, small and large after every kilometer or so. And all of them were situated at such heights that made me feel as if some hand had put them from the sky. The sheer magnificence and grandeur of some obscure building located in a no man’s land was hard to take into my system. I visited numerous temples later and the usual opulence striked me time and again. I had the following conversation with myself regarding the mystery:

ME: Why is it that places of worship are built in a manner which makes an ordinary mortal feel dwarfed?

I : please elaborate.

Me: I stand before the huge sanctuary and stare into the nothingness of the domes and pillars, intricately carved with a perfection only a divine sculptor could achieve. For a moment I forget that the divinity is nothing but a consistent display of mortality. I forget that these statues have been carved by hands which were also used to have a meager morsel, hands which were as ordinary as mine and as millions of others flocking to pay tribute to the collective endeavour of that sculptor. Can you tell me,what is it that makes me bow before something that has been made my me? Tell me, what is it that makes me call a statue a god?

I: there are two reasons why you bow. The first is fear and the second is fear. It’s just that both the fears are different.
The first is the fear of the unknown, the second that of unvanquished.

Me: Elaborate.

I: When fire was not tamed, it was revered. It was revered as we believed that it was greater than us, we believed that we had no control over it. The primitive man had the air, water, sun and the fire god. Why? It was the fear of uncertainty, the fear of being incapacitated by these forces which led him to bow before them. Suddenly, he realized that fire was controllable, it was something producible and the god vanished. We revere the fuzzy, not the absolute. We are scared of an unknown force, a force which has been made unknown by default.

Me: Unvanquished? I think this comes as a natural heir to the unknown. How can you conquer something you are not aware of?

I: Yes. Indeed it is. It is made to look like that. Imagine, who should be the most logical agnostic in the world?
Beyond any doubt it would be the sculptor who sculpts the idol. Why would a human pray to a god he has carved? The parents are also sculptors. Do they revere their children? Would you pray to someone whose weaknesses you are aware of?

Me: No. I won’t. So, what are these people bowing before when they pray?

I: They are bowing before the fact that statue covered in gold housed in an opulent temple is the result of some divine intervention. They are also bowing before the convenient negligence that it is their strength which has given the godly status to god. But, I could have tolerated the affinity for such imbecile behavior, had the people kept religion to where it belongs.

Me: Why is it that people tolerate any level of incompetence when it comes to their work but do not have religious laxity?
Why is it that the worker and the sculptor have to live in mud houses while the lifeless idol sits opulently in golden palaces?
Why is it that the bridges and the airplanes are not bowed at although they require a greater precision and mind than the stone?

I: I would have to think about the first two questions but for the third, may be they believe that the man-made achievements are in their control but god’s will isn’t.

Me: yes, the unknown crops again. There is more fear of a disaster after calling yourself an atheist than calling yourself as a technological atheist. And if this is true, I wonder, if the bridges can collapse and god can play dice, it is still a probability game, the only absolute and sure thing is death. What is greater than that ?? life ?? yes. Why don’t we then bow to every minute of it? Why can’t we follow the religion of certainty?

Thursday, November 8, 2007

NO substitute !!

The world you desired can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it's yours. But to win it requires total dedication and a total break with the world of your past, with the doctrine that man is sacrificial animal who exists for the pleasure of others. Fight for the value of your person. Fight for the virtue of your pride. Fight for the essence, which is man, for his sovereign rational mind. Fight with the radiant certainty and the absolute rectitude of knowing that yours is the morality of life and yours is the battle for any achievement, any value, any grandeur, any goodness, any joy that has ever existed on this earth".
- Ayn Rand

......"it is simple to seek substitutes for competence-such easy substitutes : love, charm, kindness, charity. But there is no substitute for competence." ..................................................................................................................................................................

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Answer this..

Everytime i read any quote of Ayn Rand, i feel closer to myself. Closer to the fact that " I " is something not achievable by many.
This is what is roaming around in my mind today.
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And then there's your 'brother-love' morality. Why is it moral to serve others, but not yourself? If enjoyment is a value, why is it moral when experienced by others, but not by you? Why is it immoral to produce something of value and keep it for yourself, when it is moral for others who haven't earned it to accept it? If it's virtuous to give, isn't it then selfish to take?
............................................................................................................................................................................

Monday, November 5, 2007

My favorite hymn..

Abide with me; fast falls the eventide;The darkness deepens; Lord with me abide.When other helpers fail and comforts flee,Help of the helpless, O abide with me.
Swift to its close ebbs out life’s little day;Earth’s joys grow dim; its glories pass away;Change and decay in all around I see;O Thou who changest not, abide with me.
Not a brief glance I beg, a passing word;But as Thou dwell’st with Thy disciples, Lord,Familiar, condescending, patient, free.Come not to sojourn, but abide with me.
Come not in terrors, as the King of kings,But kind and good, with healing in Thy wings,Tears for all woes, a heart for every plea—Come, Friend of sinners, and thus bide with me.
Thou on my head in early youth didst smile;And, though rebellious and perverse meanwhile,Thou hast not left me, oft as I left Thee,On to the close, O Lord, abide with me.
I need Thy presence every passing hour.What but Thy grace can foil the tempter’s power?Who, like Thyself, my guide and stay can be?Through cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me.
I fear no foe, with Thee at hand to bless;Ills have no weight, and tears no bitterness.Where is death’s sting? Where, grave, thy victory?I triumph still, if Thou abide with me.
Hold Thou Thy cross before my closing eyes;Shine through the gloom and point me to the skies.Heaven’s morning breaks, and earth’s vain shadows flee;In life, in death, O Lord, abide with me.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Of black holes and White Noise

There are days when you want to go to the rooftops and shout at people that your time has arrived, that you have seen the silver lining in all the dark clouds and are waiting for the mercy rain.
There are days when you wish you become a larva and hide in a cocoon, refusing to open your eyes to the ugliness that’s outside. Life has thrown me everything I was scared to take in. Failure. Rejection. Dejection…Embarrassment and hatred. I don’t know what I am doing with myself. And I know I am not alone, everybody fosters something of this mortal “bliss”.
But as everyone, I feel my pain is the greatest. Its always hard to put words to certain electrochemical signals we call thoughts, but I’ll try nonetheless.
Most of the times, I feel I am hanging, as if I am between a dipole, as soon as I go near an end point, I change the charge, and thus start repelling….then again…and again… I don’t like the mediocrity around me, I can’t reach the zenith. So? Where should I go? Is there some obscure cosmic nirvana for people like me?
Wish of the day: I wish I could go dumb. I don’t want to react..a better wish could be to go deaf …none of the noise…

Monday, October 1, 2007

I dunno

five-thirty in the morning. Sleepy. Not sleepy . Rummaging blogs for left-over philosophy. Bolt of lightning. Enlightenment. Nothing-can-help-you. Precimark . muddle-hood . CAT. Apping proffs . Arbit talks . IIM A dreams. Friends. College sucks. Nothing matters. Book. Failure project. Cartoons. Coffee. Artificial intelligence vs natural imbecility . Financial know-how. To be or not to be.Mental map. Academic blogs. Tim harford. Starry eyed dreams . Unknown fears. Too many plans. Lazy syndrome. Counselling . Human interface. Confusion clouds . The page cannot be displayed. Cannot contact server....

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Privy league vs. Ivy League

There has always been a perennial debate on educational reforms in India. And it has been perennial because the infrastructure and the resources allocated have always been on a different plane from each other, not to mention the other minor factors such as beaurocratic delays and red tape which function at the topmost level of their efficiency. The results do not startle anyone.Around 20% children devoid of their primary education and 15% do not see the secondary school.
Since the platform was corrupt, the problem got compounded at the undergraduate and post-graduate level. About a decade back, the private sector foresaw an untapped business opportunity in educational institutions and took a plunge resulting in the construction of professional colleges wherever they could lay their hands on. If the figures are to be counted for, then there are close to 100 private engineering colleges in Uttar Pradesh alone producing lakhs of engineers per annum yet the industry cries out loud being under a technical talent crunch. The blaming goes ceaselessly but no answers are sought out. And this is partly due to the fact that no layers are exposed beyond a certain limit as that would expose the naked truth that is draped in careful bandage of white lies.
Why is it that even after having more than 1000 engineering colleges in India producing more than 4 lakh engineers per annum, the government feels that more colleges are required? This is because the private institutions are not only having a major chunk of the so-called unemployable engineers, but also because the government cannot do anything about them. These institutions although being under the umbrella of governing bodies like the AICTE lack the infrastructure that is a pre-requisite for a development which is not only theoretical but also applicatory.
The full blame cannot be put on the college authorities too. With a handful of corporate houses investing properly in education, the burden of providing adequate facilities falls directly on a bunch of small business owners who form trusts and committees to run the colleges and to fill their pockets both at the same time. Although the AICTE norms are met, it is usually too less for the students who are shelling out a hefty amount for a professional degree.
Starting with inadequate infrastructure and untrained faculty, the problem gets aggravated at every level. Such colleges have passed out students as faculty members who don’t even have a master’s degree. Moreover, with no immediate authority to exercise control on these institutions, they are slowly turning out to be intellectual black holes of India with a long chain of corruption embedded firmly at its root.
All this while, the government plans to build new IIT’s and IIM’s to meet the ever growing pressure from the industry.
A better solution would be to meet the needs in an evolved manner. Institutions of the genre of IIT’s should be kept at the top most level of the educational pyramid with the autonomy that they enjoy, so that the burden does not fall directly on the shoulders of the technical capitals of India.
Tier 2 institutions could be the REC’s and the NIT’s and they should be brought up to the level of IIT’s in terms of improved infrastructure and research facilities.
The Tier 3 colleges could be the private engineering colleges which should have some amount of government interference and investment. Construction of new colleges should be checked and the allocated resources should be directed to the already constructed colleges which are taking undue advantage of their autonomous nature and are busy sucking money from students in the name of an engineering degree. The point is to capitalize on the fact that new colleges started from scratch would eat up lot more resources than these already running institutions.
The ultimate goal is to have a new educational order where all the tiers are aiming to reach at the next level under the eyes of a watchdog so that the future of India is not left at the mercy of those who are converting the educational institutions into money minting machines.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Save my soul again....and my marks too.


See, i know i crib a lot, but i am not always wrong on the cribbing.

Below is an account of our labs and their cutting edge technological advancements as being taught to us in this semester.


1.Web based development lab aka Java lab

Current status : Any program which is coded in anything remotely similar to java refuses to get compiled. JAVA is NOT installed yet (we are into the second month of the semester)


Vox populi, Vox dei : "Why worry yaar? chill . and play minesweeper for two hours "


2.Multimedia lab

Course:

Game development and simulation techniques.


OUR course/ current status: Make your resume in html (don't try to go any far from html, thou shall be crucified)

For the ambitious souls, try making a website for a clothing company (again the html limit imposes)


Vox populi: " What is simulation?? game development??? why should WE do it?? Just make the sites and chill "

2 hours of sheer time pass.



3.Microprocessors lab [My favorite]

current status: No lab has been taken by any faculty member for over a month and a half now.

We went to some higher authorities regarding this.

Result: Threat by the faculty concerned . We should better watch out for the internal marks.

Again i have been labeled a traitor.Twenty people went with me and they say i took them all forcingly ..


Vox populi: Hang me till death.


4.Computer Graphics:

Current status: We are making sweet little huts out of sweet little lines .



5.Operating system

Current status: We know how to install windows. Isn't it so cutting edge? ouch ..i cut my finger...


Did i tell you that i was doing computer science engineering??

Computer : ..umm..what's that??

Science : Oh u mean chemistry and biology??

Engineering : Cummon, be a sport. All we do is reverse engineering...

Save my Soul

When is the time one should stop taking things they are? The time when one should stand up and tell the others that things don't work this way? The time when fear should take a backseat for a higher purpose in life? The time when one should stop surrendering his life to higher authorities? I have been blamed a traitor and a defiant being since time immemorial now ;) and every time i used to take it as a compliment, but now the legendary clouds of doubt are rafting above my head, hiding the legendary sun of truth. Due to certain course of events in the recent days, i have been made to beleive that "i" might not survive unless i go in for heavy alteration. This "I" is different from the one people use.
So what's the story behind my ailing "I" ?
We all have to appear for a general proficiency exam in an year. This exam carries 50 marks. This time i was asked in my exam : "Would you go in for a love marriage or an arranged marriage? "
"Who is the most beautiful woman according to you? "
"Do you beleive in God ? "
"What is the most beautiful thing/event on earth?"
"What qualities would you like to have in your husband?"
"What is the difference between hobby and passion?" [umm umm err.. ;)]
Now now , the lady made me feel like i was competing for some miss.universe title. Still, I gave the general proficiency answers [hey, where is general proficiency btw] and went away with the file having my certificates untouched.

Some months later:
Mark sheets arrived... 32/50 ..what did i do??

My answers of evolution and non-existence of God did not please her.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Fooling Randomness....

Yeah..u read it right. It’s all about fooling randomness. Life is a mission, a mission to waste your time and here i am doing the same. After brooding about the fact on how nothing matters ultimately in our life spans, I have a quite-obvious question to brood about...What should we do then?? keep making fools of ourselves?? I must say, when it comes to life's philosophy, i am a big fan of Ayn Rand and I believe firmly that her way is THE way. We as humans, have no moral obligation towards anybody apart from ourselves. Philanthropy is not justified. Religion is not justified. Justice is not justified. Love. Hatred. Friends. Foes. Family.Patriotism.Politics ...name anything.. It just doesn't work.. Then what works??
Work works ... yes.. Your vocation works... Not because you ought to leave a legacy behind. Not because you ought to make the world a better place ...but because its probably the only thing which makes you feel less stupid the end of the day..

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Fooled by randomness.... part 2

Did I say life is a joke? Yes indeed it is, the cruelest joke ever played by nature and probability. Take the case of a scientist who was foolish enough to research into calendars when it was known that it is the earth which is the center of the universe and all the other planets revolve around it. Imagine that in his lifetime he managed to publish such a calendar and died peacefully. Wasn’t his life a joke? What about the person who got hanged for voicing his opinions that it’s the sun which is the center? I have taken these two examples because they are different yet are the same. Both the people supported some cause, one was right and the other was wrong, but what was the gain? Nothing.
Let’s get to the present day, Religious fanatics….Politicians…Capitalists… people who have an opinion, and the people who don’t have it. Nothing matters ULTIMATELY.
We hear cases of students committing suicides because of bad results, take it this way, how does it matter to the earth that someone’s performance was bad? How does it matter to the universe how much marks are you getting in your chemistry exam? Yet, we slog day in and out. Funny??
How about a person who killed three more people because he believed that his religion was not followed by them? How does it matter to another person sitting in a continent across him whether he did the right thing or the wrong one? If it doesn’t matter to a person who is sharing the same planet as yours, do you think it matters at all?? That anything matters at all?
No . It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters. Now what? Why are the people ignorant of this fact? Because it is the truest truth. Because humans suffer from the stigma of escapism. We give the example of the ostrich hiding its neck in deep mud when it sees danger, aren’t we doing the same? We refuse to admit the reality that we indeed are nothing. We have been bred and brought up on the EGO word, the community word, the religion word and the money word. We have been spoon-fed dangerous notions in our mind. Basically every notion that is obnoxious is dangerous. Every thing that pushes into the realm of more-than required is dangerous. Now who defines the regular? What is right if nothing is ? What will a man do suddenly when he’s told that all the principles and the values that were stuffed into him were nothing?
I feel at this point I should feel lucky to have been born in India, where questions of such character have not only been asked for but also have been answered in a more or less refined manner. Though I haven’t read much of him, but I think the “middle path” defined by Buddha was based on the same philosophy of not attaching undue importance to anything. In my terms, the IDEAL human life should be led like chameleons..
Read more to assist me in my journey of fooling randomness…

Children of probability. Fooled by randomness....

I am sorry to have taken (read stolen) the title of this post, from Taleb sir, but I must compliment him for this title, because I think these words are the best description for our stay at planet earth. Amongst all the GOD theories and miracles, there exists this theory which puts to use the evolutionary concept. I am told by all such books that WE, the humans were not a result of God’s wishes, but were the results of probability. So, we are the children, the progeny of probability. We happened by chance, life happened by chance. So are we programmed to be fooled by randomness?? If yes, can’t we exit the program?? If no, then what is the best way to escape this loop and still be a part of it??
I know I would be sounding confusing to a majority of people, so I would simplify, not for their sake, but for mine too, in the hope that I would find my answers in that simplification. But to search for answers, we must have questions. And for questions, we must have doubts in the existing system of answering these very questions.
It is said that humans were not created in a flash; they were the results of a continuous growth, the growth of a chain...the chain of evolution. But so were the animals, the reptiles, the birds and the plants. This in turn implies that probability gave us no preference over them; we were all equal in our paths to evolution. Then suddenly, we found that we were the first among equals, in our added share of responsibility, in our added accessories of consciousness and emotions. These accessories soon became the albatrosses around our necks.
We were programmed to reproduce and contribute to the never ending chain (we don’t know whether chain is the right word for it or a loop) and these accessories were appended to make our life a bit easier, but these accessories have been wrongly taken, we have attached primary importance to them. We are so much into these chains of gold that we don’t realize that we are nothing. WE mean nothing individually as well as collectively, we just have to contribute and pass away.
But how do we spend the time? Eighty years or seventy years is not a short span of time, to be whiled away, so we invented things to occupy ourselves. Vocations, entertainment, religion and festivals. We invented the mindsets who invented things, we invented the mindsets who followed them, defied them and ignored them.
Another question arises..WHY?? Why all this pain??
Another answer..Because we have to survive…because we have to contribute..because if we won’t do it, someone else will. I feel the strongest and the most blunt truth was the statement “ Survival of the fittest”. This statement catches the philosophy behind our existence and it is the most cruel joke. you know why?? read on...

Thursday, August 16, 2007

I dn't wanna go..

It's again the time to go to college, and i just don't wanna go. Apart from the world class ambience of my college, there is one more thing which is not allowing me to go.....that 3 hour journey, though I go in a cab now, shivering all along because of the effective ac, but the very thought of sharing my space with seven motormouths makes me shudder. Neways, i have to
go..my lunch is ready ...and now i have to drag myself to the bathroom once again.. :(
I am thinking of so many advantages home would offer me if only i stay here..i am excited that i could complete two-three chapters of the book i am writing , work on my project , read a lot ..wow and then a weekend to sustain the enthu...but my mom doesnt want her efforts to get wasted ..she woke up early for me..so i HAVE to go...

Monday, August 13, 2007

Long LIve the Revolution

Never knew this existed.
Naxal Revolution

Friday, August 3, 2007

Defiance......

Very often, a time comes in the lifetime of an individual, a society or a nation when it has to undo all the learning that has been done to make way for a new idea, a new path of living. This path might not seem suitable or easy for people to tread on, but it might be the closest to victory. India also got a chance to halt and look back at all the misdoings that had been done, at all the times when action was called for and still they weren’t performed. India got a chance to undo the learning that was making her and her people slaves and to relearn the new way. It was September 28, 1907 when India got Bhagat Singh, a revolutionary who revolutionized the destiny of a nation. Today, he is reborn every minute in the form of Satyendra Dubey or Manjunath and unfortunately he is still being hanged on the alters for speaking the truth and for upholding the principles that we as a society have manufactured to provide a veil of secrecy. I know this is not news now and this is precisely the reason I am penning this, we have more of a maniac attachment with dates and anniversaries, come 15 august and the editorials will bloom about how the India dreamt of and how the present India is so contrasting, and how the ultimate sacrifice of martyrs is going down the drain. Somehow, I don’t fall into this date trap, the best news for me being the one which people have long forgotten. I came across this article by Bhagat Singh, and the title says it all. It made me excited the moment I realized that indeed this was the written word by the man himself and finally I would get a chance to peep into the most mysterious minds of the century. Click here to read the article written by Bhagat Singh :
Why I Am An Atheist

Thursday, July 12, 2007

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS

It’s been three days that I finally decided to break the monotony of my unsocial existence and go out in the evenings to have a stroll in the neighborhood park. My five year old cousin tags along rather I tag along with her and there is a picture perfect scene or a picture perfect movie going on in the park. Pretty housewives belonging to business families and top notch executives who get tired by all the maid bashing, noon soaps and the kitty parties are a regular visitor to these parks. They do not come alone, because along with them comes a whole parade of accessories like a pram for kids who can very well run , a pair of maids, one for the baby and one for the momma and other brick-a-bracs. The attire of these lovely homemakers is also worth mentioning. Draped in the very latest Indian ethnic wear and adidas sneakers, they are worth a look as they trot up and down in order to relieve themselves of the extra flab that has been accumulated due to their HECTIC lifestyles. The story doesn’t end here because it’s after the half and hour of gossips and mom-in-laws discussion and of course exercising too, they decide to call it a day and move back to their abodes. The scene outside the park is completely revamped as if someone painted a different picture by some magic wand. There are slums nearby and women gather from these slums to sell roasted corns and men as ice-cream vendors. Now, it was yesterday that I decided to have that corn delight and went to the lady seller. She looked young but her facial expressions defied all signs of young age. A very-typical young mother, cool and hip was also there, haggling with the lady seller over the prices of the corns and was asking her to reduce the price. This lady had just won the battle and managed to get five corns for rupees 15 instead of rupees 20 and was sporting a smile as if she had just presided over the merger of Google and Microsoft when her cell rang. Very smartly she took out the chic N 95 (( I bet my life she didn’t know how to operate that little luxury , and was aware of receiving and dialing numbers)) from the little handbag which her maid was carrying and son started to chat incessantly about the prospective locations to host their next kitty. I looked at the seller, she was no older than this chic but her stature told a different story. Sunken eyes, sun burnt hands and a frail figure, her face looked as if she hadn’t smiled for ages. A small child rolled in mud was sitting on a rag nearby, disheveled hair and snotty nose was crying nearby and an older girl was trying to console him and was looking at the child in pram playing with some expensive toy and sprouting a brand, but the most horrifying part was the look of her eyes, blank as ever, as if she had not given a chance to words like hope, miracles or equality. Anyhow, the time came for shelling out the Rs 15; the lady pulled out two 500 buck notes and grunted. After much searching and rummaging her handbag, she managed to get Rs 50 out. She looked at me and asked if I had some change, paid the money and went way. The lady seller took out a broken tin container, shoved the money inside. During this entire episode all I was thinking, did that lady gained anything by paying 5 bucks less to that needy woman?? Or rather was she loosing anything by paying? Unfortunately this scenario is neither unique nor uncommon. This is our reaction to the people who are not so blessed , and is happening in every metro, town and city of the world and India. And if you think corporate India is spared. Then you are mistaken. Wait for the second part to see how??

CEO BLOGGERS

Seems even the CEO’s aren’t spared by the blogging fever. The trend is fast catching in India and is a boon to wannabe entrepreneurs and to-be managers to have a peep into the daily lives of the people they idolize. If my opinion is to be counted for, then I would say it’s a lesson in time management straight from the horses’ mouth. We all know how hectic their lives are, and if they manage this , they need a thumbs up from my side.
Some of my choice:
1. Sanjeev Bikhchandani’s blog
CEO of portals like naukri.com , JeevanSathi.com, 99acres.com, recently started blogging . Titled “Wisdom in Hindsight” . Good read.
click here to read his blog:
Wisdom In Hindsight

2. Basab Pradhan
His blog deals with developments in technology across the world while he deals with Grindstone Research . Titled “ 6 AM Pacific” .
click here to read his blog:
6 AM Pacific

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

EGO

I read “Anthem” by Ayn rand, and I am incompetent to write something worthy unless I read it again. Here are a few excerpts which lured me into the great wisdom she had to offer:

“What is my joy if all hands, even the unclean can reach into it? What is my wisdom if even the fools can dictate to me? What is my freedom if all the creatures, even the botched and the impotent are my masters?? What is my life, if I am to bow to agree and to obey? “


“I am .I think .I will.
My hands……my spirit ………my sky…….my forest………this earth of mine..

What must I say besides?? These are the words. This is the answer.
I stand here on the summit of the mountain. I lift my head and I spread my arms. This, my body, my spirit, is the end of quest. I wished to know the meaning of things. I am the meaning. I wished to find a warrant for being. I need no warrant for being and no word of sanction upon my being. I am the warrant and the sanction.
It is my eyes which see, and the sight of my eyes grant beauty to the earth. It is my ears which hear, and the hearing of my ears gives its song to the world. It is my mind which thinks, and the judgment of my mind is the only searchlight that can find the truth. It is my will which chooses and the choice of my will is the only edict I must respect.

Whatever road I take, the guiding star is within me; the guiding star and the loadstone which point the way. They point in but one direction. They point to me.
Neither am I the means to any end others may wish to accomplish. I am not a tool for their use. I am not a servant of their needs. I am not a bandage for their wounds. I am not a sacrifice on their altars.
I am a man. This miracle of me is mine to own and keep, and mine to guard, and mine to use and mine to kneel before!! “

“And here over the portals of my fort, I shall cut in stone the word which is to be my beacon and my banner. The word which will not die, should we all perish in battle. The word which can never die on this earth, for it is the heart of it and the meaning and the glory.
The sacred word is
EGO “

Mind Wide Open

Lately I was toying around with a very strange feeling and as I tried to test it on my friends, the complexity grew day by day. It’s not that I possess some supernatural power or practicing some ancient dark art, but the fact that I can sense, rather can predict someone’s real nature quite comfortably drives me to think harder in this direction. Now I know this is a vague comment to be made, but the sheer accuracy is sometimes baffling. I know everybody thinks they know their spouse, friend, boyfriend ….and everybody in their immediate contact but its not the case every time, our brain is something greater than all this. A person can fool around with all the people all the time hiding his/her true intentions, desires, fantasies and thoughts, although there are subtle actions that give it all away. I am also reading an intriguing book, Mind Wide Open by Steven Johnson, and I came across this paragraph….interesting enough to quote and give a fair idea that our brain has evolved to be something incomprehensible by us. I don’t know how correct I am because there is no absolute scale to judge my correctness, may be they are just ramifications of a bored soul…ha ha..Who cares??? But Paras and Aditya , I want you people to comment if I am wrong with the judgments…

” say it’s an office holiday party—and you run into a coworker with whom you have an unspoken rivalry. It’s one of those relationships that is chummy on the surface, but right beneath there’s a competitive energy that neither side acknowledges. When you first encounter your colleague, there’s the usual pleasant banter, but before long he’s confessed to you that something has gone wrong with his career trajectory: either he’s lost a big account at work or the fellowship didn’t come through or the last batch of short stories got rejected. Whatever it is, it’s bad news. It’s the sort of news that a friend should perhaps greet with a concerned, doleful expression, which is exactly the expression that you deliberately contort your face into as he delivers the news.
The trouble is, you’re only a friend on the surface. Below the surface, you’re a rival, and a rival wants to grin at this news, wants to relish the schadenfreude. And so for a split second, as you’re hearing the fateful syllables roll off his tongue, his tone foreshadowing his disappointment before the sentence is even complete, you let out the slightest hint of a grin.
And then an intricate dance begins. As your face wraps itself up in dutiful concern, you detect a flash of something in his face, a momentary startle that says, “Were you just smiling right there?” Perhaps his eyes suddenly lock on to your pupils, or he pauses in midsentence as though something has distracted him. In your mind, an interior closed-captioning emerges: “Did he see that grin?” As you offer your condolences, you can’t help wondering if your words sound cruel rather than comforting. “Is he thinking that I’m faking all this sympathy? Maybe I should tone it down a notch just in case.”
SEE, it's all too evident, so the best way to live your life is to be as natural as possible....pretension won't take you anywhere..

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

adventures in college part 2

okay ppl, seems like i can never get out my haggling over my college, but there are a zillion things to ponder over.....the first post on the adventures in college had a mention about our librarian , the all- knowing saint who has been given the weighty responsibility of being the caretaker of the books and the literature students read ( umm try to read!!) in our college.
there are so many incidents related to this chap, that i have to blog lest i forget about the wonderful rather full-of-wonder days in this college. i would not take time and jump directly to the untold miseries ....we face everyday..
SO, before starting off with another story telling session, i would like to create a backdrop rather a platform on which the story resides...

SCENE 1: There is a herd of students assembled near the notice board, chattering away mindlessly, some had the expressions as if they were about to start a revolution, and some were plain indifferent as if defiance was flowing in their blood..but one could easily make out, there was some spicy news on the noticeboard...
i rushed along my friend to catch the latest on the block ..it was something like this:

"Following the harmful effects of mobile phones on the lives and careers of students, the university has decided to ban mobile phones on campus. Anybody found with a mobile phone would have to pay a fine of rupees 500."

wow...now this called for some real action. We were engineering students, i mean atleast in theory, and we were being groomed for developing some of the best technology for mobiles, computers, laptops..u know ..all that matrix feel ...an here ,we had just lost the right to stay connected and how sweetly.....I was all smiles, the smile that i usually sport when i am angry to the core . People around me were waiting for my sincere comments , but i shook my head and went away.

SCENE 2:It was a new day, and apparently people had turned a deaf ear rather a blind eye to the notice.
your's sincerely was in the library once again with an unfortunate friend, unfortunate bacause the poor girl did not know destiny had something in store for her in that library..we were trying to copy an assignment that was to be submitted in the next lecture, there were around 20% of my classmates there hard at work..u see..copy paste isnt that easy...u have to beg for assignments ...beg for blank sheets..and if that wasnt enough..beg for a writing instrument ...people call them pens..
So here we were ...furiously copying the original assignment along with the usual editing going parallely...and tearing the silence of the library..went a sound..beep beep beep. Everybody turned their faces along the direction of the sound , instantly trying to detect who was the culprit..as if contending for a temp job with sherlock holmes.....and all eyes came to our table, my friend turned scarlet ...pulled her mobile from her pocket ..and a nanosecond , our librarian was standing looking down on her mobile..yess he had snatched it from her the moment she took it out....everything happened so swiftly...she didnt realise anything ...the librarian got wings and flew away...along with her mobile.

SCENE 3:
"Sorry sir, please sir....we wnt carry it again sir, sir please sir..sir please" "sir pleasee sir..give back the mobile sir, sir i didnt read the notice sir, sir , i wasnt well, i had jaundice , i came to college after a week sir, ( people can go to any length to save their mobiles, and my friend was no exception)
ONE HOUR LATER:
"sir????"
our sir: "what happened??? what do u think?? you'll say please please ..and i'll give your mobile??? this mobile will go to the director sir, the registrar, the vice chancellor, the prime minister and bla bla bla"

my friend: "sir please sir, last time sir"

the girl was nearly crying, chanting sorry sorry incessantly. She was next to tears when i could take no more and interrupted.

me: " Sir , please sir, we are standing here for one hour now, she is saying she didnt read the notice , please sir, show some consideration"

SIRRRR: "OKAY...so now u will tell me what to do??? do'nt u know mobiles have been banned ??" followed by a lecture on the harmful effects of mobile phones on people, right from moral issues to heart problems and cardiac arrests...an what not..thank god ..he didnt mention genetic mutation...
HALF AND HOUR OF MORE HAGGLING...AN CAME THE FINAL BLOW

ME: "sir, do u know, engineering colleges are going wi-fi, and here we can't even carry our mobile phones??? "

MY SIR REPLIED : "HUMEN NAHEE HONAA HI-FI....HUM TO AISE HI ACHCHE HAIN....HI-FI LOG THEEK NAHEE HOTE"

I was staring at him..staring hard....i said meekly "Sir hi-fi nahee, wi-fi, umm it means we can access the intenet from anywhere in the campus"

SIRR: "So what, that you can do now too..just take a pc anywhere in the campus, take some wires, join them to the lab and access internet....U girl, dont try to fool me .i know everything"

We were still in a state of trance, and it looked like we'll have to part with 500 bucks, then again..a sound ......beep beep beep .....beep beep beep....my friend shook her head ..silently cursing whosoever was sending her messages at this unholy hour...she looked at her cell lying on the table but it was silent...when the beeps didnt fall silent , our librarian, very casually slided his hand in his pocket, pulled out a phone and without looking at us, started talking . We were standing there with folded hands , and i was rehersing some lines for him , then suddenly , he took my friend's phone in hand, gave it to her, and said, " go now, i've excused you this time, be careful the next time"
WE DIDN'T THANK HIM OBVIOUSLY .....AND LEFT THE LIBRARY WITH OUR HEADS HELD HIGH..
YOU SEE, not all adventures are disasterous !!!

Sunday, July 1, 2007

adventures in college part 1

Its been quite a long time I wrote anything about my college…the place where I get to spend close to 12 hours of my usual day…now for the ignorant reader, I belong to the breed of those unfortunate engineers-in-the-making who trying to engineer their lives more than cars or machines or gizmos for that matter..i am unfortunate more so because I am pursuing this respected course from a college no one except the students of my college know about..gettin me??? Its been innumerable times that I’ve tried telling my college name to my new friends I meet while chatting and the only response I get is…..” errr” so lately I’ve stopped naming the damn place altogether and just specify its location… an they are usually satisfied by that. I won’t grunt about my college now but I would like to share some of the incidents that make this hell a living inferno.
So the story begins..
Once upon a time , I had my semesters fast approaching, and like all the times we had to get the no-dues certificate signed from respective labs, library and (hold your breath) CANTEEN…so here I was …standing in a long queue in the library. The librarian could not handle all the attention that was being bestowed on him so he was throwing some of his weight around. Now dis man, whom we call our librarian, is so knowledgeable that he can put any IIT professor to shame.. ( I will reveal his fits of knowledge later)..so as I was saying, our librarian who is baptized as “dosa” ( yes the idli-dosa combo) by the students was sitting on the pc checking every one’s library cards and making it sure that no culprit leaves without a fine !!And I guess my worthy readers must have guessed by now, that yours sincerely was one of the culprits!! My offence...my lord was that I had forgotten to return a book which was three months late and moreover I was carrying two more cards with me ( my friends). Now some salt and pepper was added to the story by the fact that my college is 40 kms from my place and I commute by the college bus daily. Unfortunately that day the college buses weren’t plying and I begged my father to take me to college to fetch my roll card. So this was how I reached my college on that eventful day. I did the usual shoving, pushing and cursing under the breath and reached the front of the line whilst my dad was waiting for me in the college canteen which boasts of a world class ambience without switching on the fans even in 50 degrees….( there is another fable attached to this no-switching –on-the-fan which I’ll disclose later) ..I reached the front to face THE MAN
SCENE 1
:…again. I handed over the cards to him, he typed something on his rusty typewriter-like keyboard, made a very funny face.. and asked me “ yeh manika kaun hai??” to which I replied she’s my friend…he said “ iski do books hain”.i said “ I know sir”..then this procedure repeated for two more times ….now I must tell you this guy is so funny that one can’t help but laugh at his face , its not that he’s blessed with some super natural sense of humor, but his face …aah..Amalgam of mithun chakraborty and some south Indian hero…so u can imagine my plight!! I gave out a giggle and asked him. whether I can return the books later …”NO” the only word he says in English with confidence was thrown at me. Now its not that I was totally innocent, I had the books in my bag, but I knew that he’ll charge a hefty amount if I return them now , as the whole college was there, so no room for bargaining the fine.. I went away quietly and got the books.

SCENE 2:AGAIN … I got to the front of the line with as much as six books in my hands. I stood there on the shelf begging him to let me know of the fine... Acting as a government official, he said “come after 2:30” now, I had my first sem exam after three days, and it was just 10 by then..I pleaded him with the argument that my dad was waiting for me . He shook his head and said it’s not his headache. Still, I stood there, with some of my self-respect holding onto the books, hoping that he will grant some favors on me , and tell me the fine I was expected to pay..minutes turned to hours and it was 12:30…now in the mean time , he was complaining that none of the students should move near his dear pc, coz the very act of touching his pc, would cause anger to his pc god and it would shut itself..again…I said “ sir yeh aapka pc bhi naa” and was thrown a look as if I had commented on his wife’s figure…I thought it best to keep my mouth shut…I kept waiting but he didn’t bulge . now I was angry..real angry…again I did the usual round of cursing under the breath and went away to catch some breath…by 1’o clock, I was really anxious about the exam three days later ( you can guess the level of preparation). Fortunately my English sir, is quite fond of me ( believe me, I did nothing to do that, its just that I give away some novels to that bored soul to while away his time)…and he happens to be the most senior faculty member , I went upto him and gave my books to him , citing the reasons why I couldn’t do that myself, I returned empty handed, without the roll card and begged my friend who lives nearby to fetch my rollcard from him the other day.
SCENE 3:
My friend went to him the other day , and to her horror discovered that although the two rollcards were given away, but I had another book to my name…she called me promptly, and asked if I had it ….my memory had lost all its power…and I failed to remember, the poor child went to the dragon again to get the book’s title issued on my name, he barked “ English ki book hai, kitni irresponsible hai who ladki, pahle nahee pataa tha use?? Jao bulaa kar lao use….”Ha ha…he was summoning me while I was biting my nails in anticipation of her call…finally he gave away the name of the book , and I started looking for it in the portals of my bookself…I got it ..but again the problem was standing as it is..how could I give the book???? I spent my 100 rupee talk time begging my friend to beg him instead , that I will return the book the first day I turn up in college and that he should shower some of his mercy on me and sign the no-dues certificate…..HE DID NOT DO THAT…AND MY FRIEND CAME EMPTY HANDED…(.well not exactly empty handed..she had to bear the wrath of the dosa sir, as he gave her a long speech about how I was not serious at all and was giggling away ..so I don’t deserve to write the exams anyway..an moreover he asked the reason for my friend’s philanthropy..an told her to get back home and study …and don’t be bothered about people like me..)

SCENE 4:
THE fine was for 300 bucks, and with two days left for the exam, there was absolutely no way I could waste another day on commutation, otherwise I would have nothing to write on the answer sheet even if I possessed the rollcard . I decided to send the money through another friend who had to appear for an exam just a day before my exam, I handed out the moolah and the book ofcourse , and its then after three days of tension and sleepless nights, I got to hold my rollcard..
The story doesn’t end here…the evening my card came in my hands, my first exam got postponed …..
Murphy rules in my life..aint it???

devil wears prada


In my journey of discovering the written word and the joy of snuggling up with a book in one corner, I have discovered few authors who can transform you into the characters they are portraying in their works. Lauren weisberger does it beautifully.
Sometimes you think you are the boss...the Miranda priestly who is living in nothing short of heaven on earth and sometimes you are fooled into sharing the miseries of AndrĂ©a Sachs, the very talented girl who lands up in a fashion magazine by pure chance and luck and has to do the mind numbing tasks of fetching hot coffee for her boss or giving her clothes for laundry. The book is an excellent portrayal of the dilemma faced by anyone who works in the fashion industry….the limelight, the brands , the constant partying and their demands of seeing a new beautiful you every time you turn up .And in the end you do realize that the Cinderella-like existence which seems so lucrative and tempting from the outside takes its own toll too, and that no Gucci, Prada or Jimmy Choo can provide you with the inner satisfaction and happiness that comes from enjoying whatever vocation you choose for yourself. This realization is easier said than done.
All the hype surrounding frustrated bosses and their workers, the highly paid executives who are in a constant fight to go to the top without realizing the void they are creating in themselves, the high attrition rates point very easily to the problem of not loving what they are doing. Although we tend to give varied reasons for our compulsion in carrying along the unwanted jobs, but I sincerely feel there is no such need for anyone to continue doing what they don’t feel like doing or what they don’t really enjoy. I can cite a thousand examples of people who don’t like their professions and are merely dragging their feet to office everyday and sometimes even I do that …but as I said .I have taken a leaf out of this book. An I’ll try my best not to fall into this booby trap…
In the mean time …if u want to have this e-book, just give your email adds…I’ll do the favor …

Sunday, June 24, 2007

defy logic..

It’s unfortunate that my first blog entry (technically first) should carry a grief mode to it, but then I simply can’t help it. It’s been more than a week of my holidays and I am waiting for my holidays...This week has damn tiring for me in ways that I can’t explain in words. I was never a social animal but never ever I have felt so hollow from inside. Apparently never did I have so much work to do, and never I was so bored, it’s not because I am starting to lose interest in my work , but because I have started to feel the void only friends can fill up for a person. My schedule has become a monotony and my days have started to loose all the color…I wake up when I feel like and sleep when I have to…seems I need a holiday. A much needed break …with friends...With some cheerful insanity …seems I have found the limitation of logic. Sometimes it just can’t give u that happiness of being with people u love the most…. …so here I go.off to a movie…..

Saturday, June 16, 2007

first post..

hi all,
so here is the customary introduction. My first post on this blog wherein i plan to post everything that catches my fancy....( i know dis is exactly what the whole wide world of bloggers is doing, so im no exception !!) i already have a blog on artificial intelligence but given my taste for reading , i thought i ought to write my views on whatever i read, so this blog would include the views and reviews of the books i read, and people can actually ask for the book (i read e-books) and i'll give away the book right there in your inbox..(if u actually like the book review).
now dats some philanthrophy going on!!!but u see, i do such favors for fellow mortals....
:)