adventures in college part 1

Its been quite a long time I wrote anything about my college…the place where I get to spend close to 12 hours of my usual day…now for the ignorant reader, I belong to the breed of those unfortunate engineers-in-the-making who trying to engineer their lives more than cars or machines or gizmos for that matter..i am unfortunate more so because I am pursuing this respected course from a college no one except the students of my college know about..gettin me??? Its been innumerable times that I’ve tried telling my college name to my new friends I meet while chatting and the only response I get is…..” errr” so lately I’ve stopped naming the damn place altogether and just specify its location… an they are usually satisfied by that. I won’t grunt about my college now but I would like to share some of the incidents that make this hell a living inferno.
So the story begins..
Once upon a time , I had my semesters fast approaching, and like all the times we had to get the no-dues certificate signed from respective labs, library and (hold your breath) CANTEEN…so here I was …standing in a long queue in the library. The librarian could not handle all the attention that was being bestowed on him so he was throwing some of his weight around. Now dis man, whom we call our librarian, is so knowledgeable that he can put any IIT professor to shame.. ( I will reveal his fits of knowledge later)..so as I was saying, our librarian who is baptized as “dosa” ( yes the idli-dosa combo) by the students was sitting on the pc checking every one’s library cards and making it sure that no culprit leaves without a fine !!And I guess my worthy readers must have guessed by now, that yours sincerely was one of the culprits!! My offence...my lord was that I had forgotten to return a book which was three months late and moreover I was carrying two more cards with me ( my friends). Now some salt and pepper was added to the story by the fact that my college is 40 kms from my place and I commute by the college bus daily. Unfortunately that day the college buses weren’t plying and I begged my father to take me to college to fetch my roll card. So this was how I reached my college on that eventful day. I did the usual shoving, pushing and cursing under the breath and reached the front of the line whilst my dad was waiting for me in the college canteen which boasts of a world class ambience without switching on the fans even in 50 degrees….( there is another fable attached to this no-switching –on-the-fan which I’ll disclose later) ..I reached the front to face THE MAN
SCENE 1
:…again. I handed over the cards to him, he typed something on his rusty typewriter-like keyboard, made a very funny face.. and asked me “ yeh manika kaun hai??” to which I replied she’s my friend…he said “ iski do books hain”.i said “ I know sir”..then this procedure repeated for two more times ….now I must tell you this guy is so funny that one can’t help but laugh at his face , its not that he’s blessed with some super natural sense of humor, but his face …aah..Amalgam of mithun chakraborty and some south Indian hero…so u can imagine my plight!! I gave out a giggle and asked him. whether I can return the books later …”NO” the only word he says in English with confidence was thrown at me. Now its not that I was totally innocent, I had the books in my bag, but I knew that he’ll charge a hefty amount if I return them now , as the whole college was there, so no room for bargaining the fine.. I went away quietly and got the books.

SCENE 2:AGAIN … I got to the front of the line with as much as six books in my hands. I stood there on the shelf begging him to let me know of the fine... Acting as a government official, he said “come after 2:30” now, I had my first sem exam after three days, and it was just 10 by then..I pleaded him with the argument that my dad was waiting for me . He shook his head and said it’s not his headache. Still, I stood there, with some of my self-respect holding onto the books, hoping that he will grant some favors on me , and tell me the fine I was expected to pay..minutes turned to hours and it was 12:30…now in the mean time , he was complaining that none of the students should move near his dear pc, coz the very act of touching his pc, would cause anger to his pc god and it would shut itself..again…I said “ sir yeh aapka pc bhi naa” and was thrown a look as if I had commented on his wife’s figure…I thought it best to keep my mouth shut…I kept waiting but he didn’t bulge . now I was angry..real angry…again I did the usual round of cursing under the breath and went away to catch some breath…by 1’o clock, I was really anxious about the exam three days later ( you can guess the level of preparation). Fortunately my English sir, is quite fond of me ( believe me, I did nothing to do that, its just that I give away some novels to that bored soul to while away his time)…and he happens to be the most senior faculty member , I went upto him and gave my books to him , citing the reasons why I couldn’t do that myself, I returned empty handed, without the roll card and begged my friend who lives nearby to fetch my rollcard from him the other day.
SCENE 3:
My friend went to him the other day , and to her horror discovered that although the two rollcards were given away, but I had another book to my name…she called me promptly, and asked if I had it ….my memory had lost all its power…and I failed to remember, the poor child went to the dragon again to get the book’s title issued on my name, he barked “ English ki book hai, kitni irresponsible hai who ladki, pahle nahee pataa tha use?? Jao bulaa kar lao use….”Ha ha…he was summoning me while I was biting my nails in anticipation of her call…finally he gave away the name of the book , and I started looking for it in the portals of my bookself…I got it ..but again the problem was standing as it is..how could I give the book???? I spent my 100 rupee talk time begging my friend to beg him instead , that I will return the book the first day I turn up in college and that he should shower some of his mercy on me and sign the no-dues certificate…..HE DID NOT DO THAT…AND MY FRIEND CAME EMPTY HANDED…(.well not exactly empty handed..she had to bear the wrath of the dosa sir, as he gave her a long speech about how I was not serious at all and was giggling away ..so I don’t deserve to write the exams anyway..an moreover he asked the reason for my friend’s philanthropy..an told her to get back home and study …and don’t be bothered about people like me..)

SCENE 4:
THE fine was for 300 bucks, and with two days left for the exam, there was absolutely no way I could waste another day on commutation, otherwise I would have nothing to write on the answer sheet even if I possessed the rollcard . I decided to send the money through another friend who had to appear for an exam just a day before my exam, I handed out the moolah and the book ofcourse , and its then after three days of tension and sleepless nights, I got to hold my rollcard..
The story doesn’t end here…the evening my card came in my hands, my first exam got postponed …..
Murphy rules in my life..aint it???