Fallen not beaten ..

It’s a blind alley; or rather it’s an intensely lighted one. What difference does it make? You still have to strain your eyes to reach the truth, to walk the way. Nonetheless I am running, as fast as I can, groping for some air and tearing away the unnecessary burden. It’s not easy to tear it away. It’s not easy to run, but I haven’t sought the easy route ever before.
I fall and bruise my knees.
What is it that everybody calls emotion? To sacrifice yourself in the pyre of someone who’s already dead? Who doesn’t know whether it’s a guinea pig or a human life being burnt for his lifeless body? I let my mind rule my senses and start running again.

I am slapped and I fall again…I bruise my elbows.
How is it possible that the senseless and the mindless are allowed to rule over those possessing the ability and spirit? What is the value system according to which everybody acts? Am I supposed to love everyone? Am I supposed to negate the basic premises of human existence?

I get up and run……I end up in slush and muck and I fall….my eyes are burning with filth.
What am I supposed to answer when they ask me the reasons of my happiness? When my relations are not happy, am I supposed to be happy? Am I supposed to celebrate my victories when they are failing?
This time, I am not able to run. Not even walk. I am stuck, not able to move an inch forward.
For how long am I supposed to take it on myself? The constant throbbing of nerves gushed with blood tells me not to stop, not so easily.
I won’t let them win. Not now. Not until I give my consent and that would be when I accept my failure. But u see, I am not meant for failures.
It’s getting a bit clear….the muck doesn’t matter. Not that it has ceased to exist. Just that I have ceased to admit its existence.