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Monday, March 24, 2008

Aristotle

All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion, desire. Aristotle

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

New Raj in Mumbaistan

The mathematics textbook of my thirteen year old cousin has these words on the flip side of the front cover.
WE, THE PEOPLE OF INDIA, having solemnly resolved to constitute India into a SOVEREIGN SOCIALIST SECULAR DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC.

Assuming that the children in Mumbai are also reading the same textbooks, one can realize the disparities in practical, moral and ethical teachings imparted to them by the people in power (rather emerged in power). Yes, I am indeed talking about the great Raj thackerey whose phenomenal rise to stardom has been backed up by the phenomenal ignorance exhibited by the people of India. The whole episode has indeed been a lesson in probing about the general intelligence quotient our people foster.
Unlike others, I would not go about the bashing of Mr. Thackeray, rather I would like to congratulate him on his foresight and risk taking capabilities. In a country where multiplying people is as simple as dividing them, its no wonder that such mathematicians weave magic.
Infact, I have a few suggestions for our great leader.
1.Since the filthy people from other states corrupt the opulence and the majesty of Maharashtra, I think politians from other states should stop corrupting Delhi’s assembly with their “outsider” status.
2.Sharukh Khan, Amitabh Bachan and family, Saif Ali Khan with his muse should start packing their bags for a long journey to their respective states. People from Maharashtra are denied entry in the industry they own, because of such unscrupulous people who come from nowhere and make Mumbai their home.
3.A certain strata of society in Mumbai should not be allowed to rise above a particular level; rather they should be kept poor, so that they can serve as menial workers for household jobs.
4.Finally, a word for such obsessed patriotism should reach the countries where outsourcing of work is allowed for pity reasons such as profits. You can actually hold seminars to throw some light on the perils of snatching away the bread of your countrymen, however incompetent may be for some Indians thousand miles away?

But you know sir, I have a strong intuition that you won’t pay heed to my suggestions, not because they aren’t good, but for a simple reason :
"There is no substitute for competence."

Thursday, March 6, 2008

For the ants and the Grasshoppers.

This is a part of a forwarded mail i got: I found it relevant to the hilt.



The Ant and the grass hopper in the current situations in India

Ant & Grasshopper

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away.
Come winter,the Ant is warm and well fed. The Grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.

Modern Version


The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and
laying up supplies for the winter.
The Grasshopper thinks the Ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the Ant's house.

Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter.

Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticizes the Indian Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper.

The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the Grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance).

Opposition MPs stage a walkout. Left parties call for 'Bharat Bandh' in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.

CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants and Grasshoppers.

Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'.

Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the ' Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act' [POTAGA], with effect from the beginning of the winter.

Arjun Singh makes ' Special Reservation ' for Grasshoppers in Educational Institutions & in Government Services.

The Ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothing left to pay his retroactive
taxes,it's home is confiscated by the Government and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV.

Arundhati Roy calls it ' A Triumph of Justice '.

Lalu calls it ' Socialistic Justice '.

CPM calls it the ' Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden '

Koffi Annan invites the Grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly .


Many years later...

The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollar company in Silicon
Valley ..

100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere in India ...

As a result of loosing lot of hard working Ants and feeding the Grasshoppers, India is still a developing country.